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Love & Hate

Greek word αγάπη – agape sounds like ag-ah'-pay English Love

Affection or benevolence ( kindness/compassion/generosity) and so I love would be αγαπάω - agapao sounds like ag-ap-ah'-o


Greek word Φιλέω - phileo sounds like fil-eh'-o From φίλοςphilos sounds like fee'-los English Love

to be a friend to, friendly, dear, that is actively fond.


Φιλέω is to have affection for a person or object indicating personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; so you say “love from the heart”. There is more to αγαπάω as it takes on particularly the judgment and the conscious agreement of the will and so you say “with the head you love”. In essence you choose to love showing kindness, compassion.


John 13:35 By  this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love (αγάπη) one to another. To love like this in the wider aspect requires not just the feelings of fondness but with the act of the will and making a choice.


We as the body of Christ are to love each other - being patient, kind and humble towards each other with endurance. Not giving up under the strain of life 1 Corinthians 13:4 αγάπη suffers long and is KIND! It is with this attitude that we love each other and submit to the Lord in our place. Whether it be as a wife, husband, son or daughter, parent or at work as a worker or a boss we all submit to the Lord and to each other.  Not to do this for whatever reason you justify is disrespectful, dishonouring and disobedient to our Head, God.


It is this kind of love that is required from a husband in Ephesians that would lay down his life like Christ did for the church.  Not dependent on feelings alone but with the act of the will, to nourish, cherish and like glue be joined to her.


When we chose not to αγάπη the Φιλέω will suffer and a withdrawing of affection will take place and dare I say even hate (μισέω) can creep in. Frustration and irritation can result in being angry that is a fact of life. However  to leave it not dealt with before the sun goes down will leave you wide open. This gives place to the devil which  is sin or will result in sin dare I say because left to its self will the thoughts grow into evil action. Psalm 37:8 cease from anger and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. Psalm 4:4 tremble/be ye angry and sin not, speak to your own heart and be still/silent.

Having Christ in our hearts by faith, means that we are to be rooted and grounded in love αγάπη, it is our roots that make us stable, grounded and unmovable.




Greek word μισέω - miseō sounds like mis-eh'-o English word Hate

From μῖσος detest, pursue with hatred, love less to postpone in love or esteem, to slight. (Slight is an interesting word some synonyms are; unimportant, trivial and insignificant)


We know God not to pursue us with hatred, what we know him to do and be is love. So when we come accross scripture that seems to encourage us (at first glance) to hate our family to be worthy of being His disciple then we must take a deeper look. 


Luke 14:26 if any man come to me and hate (μισέω) not his father, and mother, and wife, and children and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, ye cannot be my disciple.


He is not telling us to hate our family but not to love them more than Him. If we love our family more than God we love God less and the result is we treat Him less important less significant. So let's put this into context of love God first with all that you are then next to love others like yourself. Lets check this truth with scritpture and compare scripture with scripture.


Matthew 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Our first point is we love Him because he loved us first and sets the order of things.  Love initiates a response we respond to Gods love and we show we love Him by loving those He has given us to love, not for gain, just because! 
Some times it is difficult to love αγάπη (agape) than it is to love Φιλέω (phileo) if we like a person we can Φιλέω but if we don't like them or they have hurt us in some way, it can make it hard to Φιλέω and even harder to αγάπη them.  Yet it is this kind of agape love that God wants us to respond to Him with and show to others. The last verse in chapter 12 of 1 Corinthians tells us of a more excellent way then Paul gives us the agape love verses of chapter 13! and so we are clear how to do this kind of love that is an act of the will and not feelings he spells it out. This most excellent way is what we are to be rooted and grounded in.
So how do men know we are His disiples? not by pursuing the gifts or organised activities but by how we love/agape each other. So if we love God first we honour Him and love ...Father, mother, wife, son, daughter, brethren, and sisters, yea, and your own life also. You see to honour our father and mother are we not suppose to treat them as worthy, precious, weighty (important). Ephesians says how the husband it to cleave to his wife and love her as Christ loves the Church. 1 Tim 5:8 if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (unbeliever). In Titus the women are to love their own husband and children.
It isn't always easy to love but we have to start in the family and we are required to - take up our cross - laying down our own life - and so honour God and be a worthy disciple. At the expense of the family in a misguided attempt to show we love God more do we disregard Gods instuctions and busy ourself with churchy activities trying to bind God up in a building, following ordinances and traditions? these have no place in the body of Christ the Church. We can't fool God, He sees the heart, it is easier to be busy and pretend to be the martyr by sacificing family to God on the alter of busy, busy, working for Him instead of loving them which is what is asked for and expected, harder yes, self sacfifice yes, loved back? not always!
Don't be one of the misguided who in the name of Jesus in Matthew 7:21-24 are busy busy for God doing all that they think He wants, who He calls "ye that work iniquity" We need to hear and be wise to the truth of the word.  The enemy will attack the family order that God has told us to submit to in love- Do we stand in submission to Gods order and Him fully armed or half cocked?
Eph 5 & 6 work together and the armours is what we need to fulfil our role in the family and with our feet shod prepared for the witness of the gospel of peace. To think you need your armour for our witness and work for God in churchy activities is a joke without the evidence of love for the family- this gospel of peace that we are to have our feet shod in preparation with should be evident in our understanding of Ephesians as a whole. What a life long work the Lord has prepared me to walk in and a worthy walk it is!